Blow

Today we worked on phonics and oral motor development. Lachie is really good at reading but gets confused over some sounds. We chose to concentrate on the "OW" sound in blow. It can be tricky as it changes according to the different letter blends it is paired with. For example the "OW" in Owl or Bowl sounds different to the "OW" in Blow. At least in our Aussie accents. 

• First we took photos of Aria and Lachie blowing into a bubble blower. 
• Second we intended on doing bubble painting but the paint was too heavy and did not produce coloured bubbles. The paper got all soggy. So after a few "experiments" with the bubble water we decided we needed something circular to print the bubbles.
• Lachie used a small piece of pvc pipe and the moon stamps we made out of bottle caps earlier in the year.
• Aria who is more happy than Lachie to get messy used just the bottle caps, but not the stamps.
• Aria wanted pink paper, I only had orange card so she stamped hers onto pink paper then helped me glue the bubbles on the card once we cut them out.
• I cut out and glued on their pictures.
• Lachie chose the letters to spell out "blow".
• Aria chose her coloured letters.

Letting Go of Ideals

Once I received some constructive criticism from a college lecturer that I was incredibly proud of. I was so proud of this feedback I went and thanked her. She looked at me and shook her head and smiled. At the time I was confused about her response. The feedback was that I was too idealistic. The lecturer was my college lecturer for my child care course. My ideals were that children should be free to learn in an open ended environment. I wholeheartedly believed they should never be given restrictive activities such as colouring in and materials such as google eyes and technology was a big no-no (it was the 90s though).  This kind of idealism came crashing down when I had my own special needs children. The lesson that idealism can actually restrict children only occurred to me when I began homeschooling Lachie. It has taken me 17 years to figure out that my lecturer was not  in fact complimenting my idealism.





I recently decided to push aside my ideas about natural learning (gasp, shock, horror!) and do what just works. The result  can be seen in the photo adjacent. It doesn't look like much but it is HUGE, a massive effort from a boy who would not, could not, in his own mind possibly produce a whole page of writing. Even in this style I made some huge sacrifices in the name of letting go. There is no Queensland correct script, we are learning capitals only at this stage, and there is no pressure and no erasing during the lesson.



I see the parents of special needs children grasping at their remaining idealism all the time on the Internet. I see indignation over so many of the little things. I see arguments fiercely erupt (truth be told I have been involved) over whether children are Autistic or have Autism, whether it is a condition, disorder, disease, curable, preventable......etc. Maybe we should let go of these ideals and just do what works, it takes effort and trial and error to do what works but we sure as heck are not going to find out what that is if we sit around debating all day long.  I never forget an experienced mother telling a group of new mothers that no matter what they believed, read, or wanted, ultimately the child and not the parent guides the choices you make for your child. She then went on to advise them to throw away the baby books. I think we need to go a step further and engage in the world with an open mind.

What's in the sensory bin?

We are fortunate enough to have been given some resource funding for Lachie. In particular, I really wanted to get started a sensory and fine motor bin. After a few test runs of sensory items, this is what we ended up with in the bin.


A kaleidoscope

A bendy man

A pop eyed dinosaur

Micro Charger Cars

Scooby Doo Whodunnit figures with trap and changeable heads

A light ball and some squidgy squeezy things one looks like the cartoon character Blue and the others are like koosh balls, and a handball.

It is all stored in a Blue Itty Bitty Bin

Although we got the funding, on the exception of the Scooby Doo toy, these can all be picked up fairly inexpensively. It is worth the peace and quiet we have had today and he is developing his motor skills without even realising it.

Washing Little Hands

After noticing Aria's fascination with the bathroom and becoming frustrated myself with Lachie's refusal to use a nail brush, I came up with this Montessori inspired practical living activity. The children each have a tray complete with a tub of warm water, a face washer, a nail brush, mirror, and a towel. Lachie has a container of foaming hand soap but I squirt Aria's into the tub as she tends to paint the house with it. This is the first day I had the mirrors, I picked them up for $1.50 at a new discount store. Not only is the warm water calming but it encourages self care and I don't have to hold Lachie down to scrub his nails. It turns something that is difficult due to sensory issues into a fun game. The children are responsible for drying any drips off the tray. This activity meets with the basic Montessori principle of controlling for error.

Both children loved the mirrors

 Lachie sat back for a while and contemplated the activity while looking in the mirror

 Aria used materials to clean the mirror too

To Fight or not to Fight

Lately I have been having some conversations with a not for profit agency that are helping survivors of bullying. Through listening to other people's stories, I have  felt the feelings of injustice over the bullying my ASD children have endured well up again. Although, Gi Joe is okay for me to share his story, he does not want identification or a "big deal" made out of it. Out of respect for the space he's in, I won't go into detail. I will say though that the sheer fact he feels a need to hide what happened makes me realise how ashamed he is of what happened to him and how he is still scared it will happen again! So herein lies my conundrum, kicking up a stink might make me feel better and raise awareness but it may very well re-victimise him. As a mother, of course I want justice but it comes with a price. This is the place that bullies put the family of their survivors in. Schools, workplaces and sporting teams need to understand this. Unfortunately, the issues tend to end with the survivor leaving the school, workplace or sporting team. It should be the other way around. Early intervention with those most at risk of being bullied and being bullies is key.

It was The Best Post in the World

Well, I follow in the footsteps of Tenacious D (without the devil and music and stuff...oh and fame). I was all poised to write an epic post and my blogger wouldn't let me sign in! I have no idea what I was going to write but I'm sure it was the best post in the world. Instead of the best post in the world, I'm just going to settle with some reflection of our term.

Some days the self doubt creeps in and I think I'm not teaching Lachie anything. I have been thinking about that and I think that's a little unfair to both of us! He has achieved so much this term and I just need to look back on these posts and see that. I read (or saw) something, somewhere on Facebook (gets a bit like that) about self dialogue. I decided to pay attention to Lachie's self dialogue (which he often verbalises) this week. I was hoping to hear that he felt he had done well this term, I was sad to hear, "I'm not a good boy" "I can't."  Who's responsible for this? Us as his parents mostly I think. I need to change it and model positive self talk to him. So no more doubts!

This term Lachie has loved The Gruffalo, The Rascal Series, The Very Cranky Bear, The Lorax, to name but a few. Through texts he liked I was able to engage him beyond what I could with a stock standard activity that he found meaningless. My approach next term will definitely be deep exploration of texts he chooses himself. He's only engaged in what he's truly interested in and I need to embrace that. After all, adults tend not to continue with something that they find boring for too long. We do have to do some things we don't like but he is a child and I need to help him to treasure his childhood for as long as possible. All in all I feel we achieved a lot this term. He's well and truly de-schooled. I'm still looking for a good school for him, I don't think he shares the same view so we need to tread carefully when we talk about school. I don't want it to be a punishment if we do send him back. We are taking it day by day at this point.

Being THAT Exhausted

If you follow many blogs about Autism, especially ones that originate from the USA, it's difficult not to have been touched by the story of a mum of an ASD teen who attempted murder suicide. After a final blow, a withdrawal of support, she did the unthinkable. I'm not going to write a lot about the specifics of the case, others have done that.  I'm not going to harp on about the need for support, I've done that. I do want to describe being THAT exhausted. I have felt it before, especially in the younger years with Gi Joe. I have seen it before and very recently. It's inevitable.

What does it look like? Different in every person I suspect. It's often the people who you give advice to, they will come back with a frustrating, "tried that, tried that, tried that..." If that is frustrating for you, imagine how frustrating it is for them.  The ones who are numb, the ones who stop caring about themselves, the ones who over analyse their situation, the ones who cry a lot, the ones who have given up, the ones who avoid.  I have been this person and I have been THAT exhausted. Once I was THAT exhausted I thought about driving my car off the freeway, my son was in the back. I didn't because I saw an out, my partner, my other kids, the special school.  The thought went through my head though. This one thought makes me no different from those who followed through. I felt I had an out, but I had the thought. They maybe did not feel like they had an out, had exhausted all their outs. It is hard to know and something we may never know.

What do you do to get through it? In order to help parents feeling this, asking if they are okay might be a good start, but then what?  Yes people need to help themselves first before they are any good to their children.  How? If you are it? How do you take a break? I am lucky, I'm not it, I can take a break, not always straight away but it happens. I don't really know the answers. It is going to take a lot of vocal hard work to change systems, mind sets, and to promote a greater understanding of the needs of Autism families. I hope that this post might help one person to recognise THAT exhaustion in a friend.